Dungeons and Dragons Player Seeks Support After Breaking up With Dungeon Master, Sparks a Discussion Instead

Author image for Eleonora Bader
Eleonora Bader
Jan 25, 2024 3:00 PM EST

What should a DnD player do when they don't get along with their party anymore? When some players are giving out bad energy, it can definitely damage the campaign, and unfortunately, not every Dungeon Master is equipped to handle all the social politics.

In this case, a Dungeons and Dragons player took to Reddit, seeking support after 'breaking up' with their DM. They explained that things just weren't the same anymore, and that despite the fact that the DM was a great person and an even greater DM, the other players were making it too difficult to stay. OP's post was met with some compassion, but also, with resistance. Fellow players questioned if OP was perhaps the one stirring up drama… And maybe they were just uploading a post to get attention. It's a fair question, one I definitely don't have the answer to. Scroll down to read the thread, and then check out these Dungeons and Dragons memes.

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    "I broke up with my Dungeon Master, and left the game."
    via Canva
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    I broke up with my DM. Table Disputes
    via u/Big*****dGothGirl
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    My DM is an amazing person and literally one of the best DMs ever, but I could no longer ignore the toxic energy from some of the other players. It feels an awful lot like leaving an ab sive relationship. I stayed for the DM and tried to ignore the other stuff, but last Saturday was the final nail in the coffin for me. I LOVED
    via u/BigT****edGothGirl
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    that game. More than my own children, if I had any. Seriously though, I was really happy when playing. There's some OOG drama that I tried to ignore because it really had nothing to do with the game, but the way some of the other players treated me was just toxic. Ultimately I made the decision to leave the group for my
    via u/Big*****dGothGirl
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    own mental health. I'm going to mourn for a while before I go out to find another game. I know it was the right thing to do and it is often the first thing people comment when responding to these types of posts, but it doesn't make it any easier. I guess I'm just looking for some support from my fellow DnD Redditors.
    via u/Big*****dGothGirl
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    vikingArchitect 14 hr. ago · edited 14 hr. ago We have no idea what kind of player OP is or if they were the ones starting drama. This isnt AITA but its weird to post sob stories on this reddit. Its like a hey everyone agree with my one sided story so I can feel good about myself post. Ive had one problem player leave and claim everyone else was toxic because the other players wouldnt deal with their utter mu derhoboness anymore and gave their character the cold shoulder. Everyones the hero of t
    via u/vikingArchitect
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    _wombo4combo - 13 hr. ago Yeah this post could have been written just the same by a drama king/queen who starts and then sobs about it as an absolute angel who has been put through the wringer with some really toxic players and just needs support. We don't know enough info, but we can always share lanket statement advice which is good either way (such as communicate with your DM).
    via u/_wombo4combo
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    BigTied Goth Girl OP 14 hr. ago I didn't explicitly say why because of certain circumstances. It's a tricky situation, but thank you for the advice. I think I will actually reach out and let him know that he can totally ask me for details. 12 Reply Share
    via u/BigT***iedGothGirl
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    kabula_lampur . 14 hr. ago DM Sounds like you broke up with your group, not your DM. Unless there's more details regarding issues you have with the DM specifically that may not be called out here. Either way, sounds like you made the best decision for you in this situation. Good luck going forward finding another group to play with. 591 Reply Share
    via u/kabula_lampur
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    BigTi edGothGirl OP 12 hr. ago Well, the kind of group that it is makes them a package deal so it's a little bit more complicated, but I appreciate what you said. Thank you! 184 Reply Share
    via u/BigT***iedGothGirl
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    CrazyCalYa 14 hr. ago "No D&D is better than bad D&D." 1.1k Reply Share cawatrooper9 · 13 hr. ago I love that the community embraces this mantra, because it's so true.
    via u/CrazyCalYa, u/cawatrooper9
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    So many hobbyists of whatever style tend to believe the opposite, which is so unhealthy. 256 Reply Share CrazyCalYa 12 hr. ago For real. I stopped playing Overwatch a few years back because I couldn't escape the toxicity, no matter how I tried. I missed playing the game but I was happier enjoying other games and hobbies that didn't leave me feeling like afterwards. It's something that actually led me to playing D&D.
    via u/CrazyCalYa
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    Luxumbros 14 hr. ago If you haven't already, communicate with your DM why you had to step away. With luck, your DM will realise what makes a good game, and that's truly invested players. 508 Reply Share
    via u/Luxumbros
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    SaltyDangerHands - 14 hr. ago You did a hard thing and it's perfectly fine to be sad. I hope you took a moment to tell your DM why you left, not to change their mind or anything, but to make sure they're aware of what the issue was and that you appreciated them. I hope you find the right table. 70 Reply Share
    via u/SaltyDangerHands
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    Vegastiki 13 hr. ago I have played DnD since 1978. I even worked on TSR games in the late 80's. Unfortunately, this is the reality of playing in most groups. Familiarity breeds contempt. Here are some things I have learned over the years. When the toxicity begins, I leave the table. I use the bathroom, go outside for fresh air or grab something to eat. I don't return until it ends. If it doesn't stop, I just leave. The other thing I do is when someone says something ugly or toxic, I make a
    via u/Vegastiki
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    raspberry sound at them. Usually, that negative stimulus cognitively stops them. Sometimes I make them repeat what they said. Everything sounds stupid when you have to repeat it. .. just some suggestions.. hope things get better. 23 Reply Share
    via u/Vegastiki
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    MolybdenumBlu - 10 hr. ago OP has said literally nothing about what this apparent drama is, so I am going to assume that the group was stifling her desire to mu derhobo because it is what her character would do. Reply Share 23
    via u/MolybdenumBlu
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    Harpshadow 13 hr. ago I went trough something similar (long term game mourning). I had this AMAZING DM but there was a problem player that I took too long to call out. I am sometimes picky with game styles and this person was (IMO) very disruptive. Everyone else seemed to have fun so I let it pass.
    via u/Harpshadow
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    I was taking it a bit too personal because this person would try to one-up me on my stage/backstory exposition or derail the plot. So at one point I decided "well this is not the style for me and I might be the one taking it too serious" so I told the DM I was leaving and they told me they were actually just going along but that this player was also getting on their nerves. Player got offered a "hey, change this please. You are not the only one at the table". They said "nah im good" and left.
    via u/Harpshadow
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    I still ended up leaving because he took so much experiences away from my character (over a year) that I did not know how to just "connect" with the group. (Like, I felt the time for the character passed). Anyway, good choice from you and your boundaries. Always call out/communicate things when you see them (on an objectively calm way if you can) and measure if the rest of the table cares about your fun,
    via u/Harpshadow
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    if there is a problem or if you are incompatible with the table and take action. Easy. Never give into FOMO. Never stay where you are uncomfortable or where you are not having fun. Best Wishes! 7 Reply Share
    via u/Harpshadow

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